Nobody knows the (tube dog) troubles I’ve seen.

There is only one downside of Good Wife Norma still working while I am fully retired. That downside is this; when she goes off to work (actually I take her, seems the least a dolt of a husband should do) responsibility for three wiener dogs lands in my lap and mine alone.

The heaviest lifting of this suffocating burden, to no one’s surprise I suspect, surrounds the inevitable effluent that attends wiener dog ownership.

I have learned through smelly experience over a couple decades that two dogs, for reasons I cannot imagine, generate much more than double the excrement volume as one. Three dogs, which describes our plight, approximate the gastrointestinal production of a mature Holstein cow.

We have almost no indoor mishaps, however on one rare day I left of small clutch of foul little lumps where they fell for GWN to clean up when she got home at the end of her long day’s work. That immediately had, as they say, a bad outcome. I haven’t done it since,

Lately, though, puppy poo has not been the worst of it here at Steve’s Grudging Wiener Dog Daycare.

There has been a disquieting turn in the past couple, three weeks. That revolting development is jail breaks … three to be precise.

Ebbie is our resident runner, our rabbit. Leave the wrong combination of doors open and she will joyfully burn you every time. The last couple times Ebbie ran for it, Annie, our short-haired brown model and normally a home body, tagged along. The is little doubt big sister Ebbie is a bad influence. Daphne, on the other hand, doesn’t much care to be outside ever. Winter, spring, summer or fall she does her nasty business and races to be let back in.

Ever the stylish sophisticate, the last couple times Ebbie ran for it, Daphne sniffed in disdain and opted to remain under the ‘influence’ of central air conditioning.

Despite my occasionally dedicated attention dog-wise, GWN almost seems to blame me in some way for these traumatic neighborhood dog dragnets while she’s at work.

Can you believe that? Yeah. Me neither.

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