It’s Friday just before 2 p.m. and your easily estimable scribe is taking a break to write this column.

Break from what, you ask? It’s a fair question.

I had to step away from my so-far largely futile effort to get a new laptop up and running so that I could actually like, you know, use it to bang out this column and stuff.

My own laptop succumbed several years ago and now I’ve done in Good Wife Norma’s identical H/P model, too.

Write this down: Do not leave laptops standing on edge up against the base of your chair over years and years of time. They’re also much easier to drop when grabbed by the slick side panels, too, a statement proven by the dilemma in which I now find myself.

Why don’t I just go ahead and admit it; at this moment my stubby digits are flailing away at Melanie’s keyboard down at the office. Yes, I gave up on the shiny new one which sits alone and abandoned on the dining room table at home where I’m certain the lady inside there, the one with the perky voice, is still, in my absence, cheerfully making demands of me that I’m helpless to understand.

It’s been obvious this day was inevitable for a long time. My/Norma’s laptop has been fading in and out for a while now. As time went on the ‘out’ overwhelmed the ‘in.’

It got so I had to pinch the screen edges together on both sides simultaneously to prod the reluctant mouse back into motion. And therein lies the worst of several problems; you cannot, it turns out, type a column while both hands are squeezing the screen just so in the exact right places. I know this because I’ve had no choice but to try.

GWN, weary I suppose of all my cursing and writhing in rage, obtained a new laptop which she will most likely never use. Such was her desperation, apparently, to return a measure of peace and quiet to the house. I dreaded having to move my entire life to a new one, knowing from past experience it would be a headache-inducing process of perhaps six months – if ever - before I am fully back in business.

Facebook. Google Chrome. You Tube. E-mail. Maybe 50 saved favorite websites that help me with everything from installing a pedestal boat seat to locking down a respectable, full Windsor knot in a neck tie. It’s where I store digital owner manuals for a whole slew of stuff, instructional videos for the iPilot trolling motor, Garmin depth finder, at least two GPS units and more. Much, much more.

Will I lose it all? Time will tell, but I wouldn’t wager against it.

In the meantime if I don’t answer your e-mail and should I go dark on Facebook and Twitter please don’t hate me. I have little on the ball in the area of high-tech expertise, but doggone I’m fixin’ to make a heroic effort just the same.

Sign up for York News Times Email Alerts

* I understand and agree that registration on or use of this site constitutes agreement to its user agreement and privacy policy.

(0) comments

Welcome to the discussion.

Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article.