A reasonable argument might be made that two boats are at least one … probably two … too many for most folks. Define boat: A hole in the water into which you pour money. Far be it from me, one personally and fiscally familiar with the truth of that old axiom, to suggest otherwise.

Boats are helpful in keeping your head above water in the life and death sense. They do not score well, however, on the bank account buoyancy test.

So how is it we (mostly me) found ourselves owners of not one but two boats simultaneously?

It was simple really. I bought Boat No. 2 before Boat No. 1 was sold.

We had a similar though much more disquieting experience a few years ago when we wrote a check and closed on the purchase of 16 Fairview Drive before all the legalese for the sale of 502 Thompson was signed, sealed and delivered.

For a short time were we the owner-of-record on two York homes. How short of a time? Unfortunately exactly long enough for marauding hail to total both roofs.

Compared to the angst of sorting out that mess, the comparatively innocuous worry of side-by-side boats you see in the photo is small potatoes.

The goal was to get into a boat with a bit more horsepower muscle and also, because muscle is a commodity of which I have little these days, a vessel possessed of power trim and tilt. My days of manhandling outboard motors are gone, gone, gone.

Something a bit deeper and wider at the beam which offered up a few extra inches of freeboard (distance from the waterline to the top of the hull) seemed to be indicated, too, given my propensity these days to lose balance and flop toward the gunwales. I haven’t gone all the way overboard - yet - so our boat transaction was something of a preemptory action.

This senior citizen has lived long enough to predict his incompetence, the better to plan for it ahead of time.

For example when I’m heading off to our old stomping grounds in Yellowstone, a landscape fairly bristling with pit toilets, I visualize my glasses falling off at the exact wrong moment down into the exact worst place you can imagine. Then I snag a couple sets of those goofy straps for my spectacles before ever leaving home.

And so that is how we (OK, it was all me) justified a bigger, faster, wider boat.

The ‘old’ old boat is going to a wonderful family that will come to cherish and enjoy it as much as GWN and I did. The ‘new’ old boat is now the future … at least what little is left to us.

What will the future bring? Stay tuned. It could get rowdy.

Sign up for York News Times Email Alerts

* I understand and agree that registration on or use of this site constitutes agreement to its user agreement and privacy policy.

(0) comments

Welcome to the discussion.

Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article.